New Gig: Bystander for Weird Crimes

Lately I've been an innocent bystander for weird crimes.

Crime #1:

I was walking in front of a local grocery store and a man on a bicycle rode up beside me. As he coasted by he stole my cell phone off of my ear. I was in the middle of a sentence when he took it! Then, he looked back and made eye contact with me as he rode away. The best part of it--he was wearing a red bandana on his face--just like robbers from western movies!

Crimes #2 through approximately 32:

I was riding with a friend (Emily) in her car out in the middle of nowhere in Georgia. We noticed someone a few cars ahead swerving around and generally having a hard time staying on the road. We watched for a while and eventually I called the non-emergency police line to let them know what was happening. When I first called the police the swerving car did not have any obvious damage. About 15 minutes later I was still on the phone with the police (filling them in with further details about our location), but by then both of her passenger side tires were gone (she was driving on the metal wheels), she was dragging half of her bumper, her passenger side windows were shattered, and I seriously doubt either of her passenger side doors worked. It was crazy. Just before she pulled over for the police we actually ended up sitting next to her at a stop light. She appeared to have absolutely no idea what was going on--there were two Sherrif cars behind her with lights on and bullhorns blaring "Pull your car to the side of road!". It appeared she had not noticed the damage to her car, or the police cars, and was calmly waiting for the light to turn green. Madness! (And I hope she's OK now--I don't think she was OK then.)